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Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I can’t dream.

  • Certain Kind of Sadness- poem

    There is a certain kind of sadness that resides in
    The depths of the world.
    The kind that stays hidden till sought,
    Concealed in smiles and laughter;

    The kind that ventures out in silences and boredom,
    Like a hand that reaches out to pat you
    But instead grabs you to the deep abyss
    That is the unknown;

    The kind that hits you in the face like realisation
    But stings like betrayal
    And hurts like love;

    The kind that doesn’t make you cry
    But rather makes you quiet,
    Dims the sunshine you carry,
    And makes you less full of life than you first arrived with.

    Wallow in this sadness and feel this sadness,
    Don’t let it engulf you or bury you-
    Know that like the tide, it always ebbs.
    If it keeps flowing,

    try to search for

    That coarse voice you shouted out songs in,
    The shy smile you wore on a special night and
    The way you danced to a silent song called joy.
    Find the fairy lights that glow inside of you
    And the stars you gobbled along with a
    Glass of moonlight- forever illuminating your heart,
    And you’ll always be okay.

    Maybe not away from this certain kind of sadness,
    But okay.

    Written by,
    Milomi.

  • Battle- poem

    Life is a battle
    Between our past and our future
    Between our memories and our dreams
    Between ‘was’ and ‘will be’.

    We’re stretched in two directions
    Conflicted and confused
    While time fails to convince us to
    Keep our head on our shoulders and simply pick the present

    The past lures us with comfort
    With laughter, joy, fun, and
    Something that looks different than today
    Something that feels like home

    But the future argues that it is
    Comfortable as well
    It is full of success, peace, and satisfaction
    Full of dreams, fantasies, and discovery

    Somehow we learn to despise the present
    To denounce the struggles of our time
    Forever perceiving the ‘other’ times as wonderful and failing to spot the
    Sparkle in today

    Life is a battle, a pointless one at times
    To fight for our past and our future is a losing battle
    To fight for ‘was’ and ‘will be’ is futile if we forget
    To fight for the ‘is’.

    Written by
    Milomi

  • what happens if we stop trying- poem

    what happens if we stop trying
    if we stop trying so hard to get things done,
    to make an impression,
    to be someone?

    what if we shrug and say that
    life will draw out the ways but we
    can have comfort in the fact that we are our own GPS
    we can always drive through a lake or sprint across a field
    or follow the route to grab the stars and make them ours

    and if you do, you’ll find yourself being in phase with life
    you’ll find that you’ve learned how to live too hard, love too hard, and laugh to hard
    that we are all memories in the making
    and that worrying that we’re too much will get us nowhere
    because we are stars too full of light and it’s impossible to settle for being too dim.

    Written by
    Milomi

  • Where Are You?- poem

    Where are you
    When you stare into the depths of the outside world,
    Without regards to your surroundings?

    I need to know, where are you
    When you stay silent for a while too long
    When your messages are shorter than usual
    When you hold your head and sigh,
    I have no choice but to ask-
    Where are you?

    I’m pulling a bit tight on the ropes that
    Tie us together.
    So I can get you back slowly,
    Back to here. Back to now.

    I play a game of tug-of war,
    Where I am harsh reality and you are a better world.
    And I wonder why I can’t simply
    Lose and join you-

    For I’d rather daydream and lose all care,
    Find time to twirl a flower and to
    Slow dance in the middle of the night.
    To be spontaneous, to be ‘too much’, to be me.

    To smile a lot, to be silly, to be colourful and go crazy,
    And to be me- with you.

    Written by
    Milomi.

    Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/Bwg5L-sks3g

  • Hellos and Goodbyes

    Life is full of hellos and goodbyes. We say hello to new friends and goodbyes to old buddies. Cheers to open windows and hugs to closed doors. Our hearts are constantly beaten and mended with every moment in life- and how much ever we think we’ll get used to these rollercoasters, we never do. 

    We should enter scenes with a full heart but it’s even more important to leave with a fuller one. To bask in new experiences, to bottle emotions, to do everything it takes to be content with our journey. Even if our trips are finite, we need to make sure that our memories are infinite. 

    We know that our journeys are going to come to an end. But sometimes- we don’t need to say goodbye. We don’t need to close doors we want to keep open; whether or not we choose to enter the open window we see. We don’t need to make ourselves rain tears and flood grief when we can smile and say we had a good time. 

    When we can say that given the chance, we would do it all again. Without any regrets. And to know that being able to say that is a gift, a full journey in itself. A door left open, yet left filled with life and love. 

    Written by
    Milomi.

  • Labels- poem

    This is a poem about how we are made to be labelled and stacked into a category of boxes- all describing our personalities.

    LABELS

    After hours of strenuous questioning,
    Of doubting myself and second-guessing,
    Of staring at sentences for minutes-
    Pages of a report, haphazardly strewn, stare up at me.

    All I can think of is- those words on paper are not me.

    My personality cannot be divided into
    A Yes or a No,
    A True or a False, or maybe an
    ‘Almost Always True’ and an ‘Almost Always False’.

    My soul cannot belong to any one answer,
    To either black or white, when I am painted in
    Shades of grey.

    My mind is not a paragraph or a string of words:
    Thinker, Organiser, Enterpriser, Persuader-
    My personality does not give in to 26 letters
    With commas in between,
    My own self refuses to be put down,
    To be labelled,
    To be defined using eloquent words in a fluent fashion.

    My psyche means more than something that language can delve into and discover.
    Our psyches mean more.

    When it goes beyond ‘doing’, and comes to ‘being’
    Language bars us from expressing our true selves:
    It only goes so far.

    Written by
    Milomi.

    Inspired by a poem by E. E. Cummings – since feeling is first
    (And also me giving an aptitude test over the weekend.)



  • Living- poem

    We’re made of star-stuff.
    All of us
    Though different in thoughts, ideas, beliefs,
    Are made of the same stuff.

    We’re made of stuff the world can’t hold,
    Stuff that inevitably moulds itself into
    Living, breathing, breathtakingly beautiful human beings.
    We’re given the tag ‘Living’.
    We’re told we are ‘Alive’.

    We travel through life.
    Touching the suns, feeling the rains, bracing ourselves for the winds
    Yet we never seem to truly
    Touch life.

    We, who are deeply rooted within life,
    Tied and tangled among the knots of the universe
    Living the broken dreams of stars we can never reach,
    We- never seem to caress life with the same
    Love
    That she has caressed us.

    We travel through life,
    Eyes on our success and well-being
    Taught to steer clear of distractions that can hinder our path
    Taught to not admire life.

    Instead we hustle and bustle through life,
    Glad we still own the tag of ‘Living’
    But how can we said to be living- when we’re not able to be alive?

    Written by
    Milomi.

  • Relief- poem

    There is joy.

    After scouring the desert of life
    For years- in hopes to stumble upon the sea;
    After finding mirage upon mirage
    And coming close to losing hope-
    The sweet touch of salty water embraces you.

    For a second, you know- there is joy.

    One second is all it takes to offer
    Visions of life waiting for you.
    All it takes to restore your crumbling, beaten, not yet broken faith.
    All it takes to make you believe again.

    Eons of rage, anger, frustration, give way to
    An instant of relief.
    And yet, you are content for
    There is joy.

    Joy is always waiting, around the corner.
    Waiting to greet us, to take us by surprise.
    To grab us from the dusty roads we walk barefeet upon, lift us off of the ground, and spin us around till we crack a smile.
    Joy then puts us gently down, nudging us
    Towards the harsher moments of life.

    Saying, “I believe in you.
    You should too.”

    Written by
    Milomi.

    Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/87BraKM0WyQ

  • To Overshoot

    Life gets hectic, almost every day. We have a million things to do and a million places to reach- a million things to check off of our to-do list before a million more fills its place. We run around and barely get a breather in between, constantly stressing about the next thing, without giving every thing its proper attention. Our main goal is to finish everything.

    In the midst of all this, we lose track of ourselves. We lose track of the things we like to do, of our loved ones, of everything that held our life together and gave it balance. In running around, we disrupt the beautiful balance we spend years building. We stress over things too much and we push our abilities way past their limits. We put in hours into the things that come up, thinking that they require all our attention, only to realise we exhaust ourselves in the process.

    We can’t be in a million places at once, and unless we’re Flash, we can’t run around so much either. Worrying too much about some things is not worth it. If something comes up that makes us doubt our priorities, then we need to reconsider. We’re all human. We’re resilient, we’re strong, we get things done. But we also get tired, fatigued, and burnt out. We all have our limits.

    Limiting ourselves doesn’t mean distancing ourselves from things that bring us joy and contentment, but learning which battles require our utmost attention and which ones don’t. We can’t be leaving our hobbies and relationships behind to pursue short-notice checklists and achieve Mission Impossible. We need to learn to put ourselves first. Because how much ever we don’t hear this phrase: we matter.

    Written by
    Milomi.

    Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/CiUiXZZYQGI

  • Complements and Rivals

    When we look at the two extremes of this world, we see life and we see death. We hope that there is an incredible amount of space between them. That we can distance ourselves from death as much as possible. That we can cherish life forever before giving into death, the inevitable consequence of entropy.

    When someone we know crosses the bridge of extremes to meet death, we are enveloped by grief and sorrow beyond thought. We writhe and wonder why- why did death choose them and not us? Why didn’t we see it coming? Why couldn’t we say a last goodbye?

    It never strikes us that maybe life and death are intertwined in this delicate thread- that binds us all. Maybe all of us carry death as we walk the bridge of life. Life and death are not opposites, but rather two experiences that complement each other. As we live, we also die. We grieve as someone dies and maybe another part of us dies with them. As they turn to memories, we wonder if they still live in our hearts.

    Death still speaks to us, through life. And as we move forward, we spot more occurrences of the two, each one more haunting than the last. These events snatch us of words and leave us defenceless; we wonder how we will ever recover. Recovery comes, but it yearns for the courage to keep moving on. The toughest thing that life asks from us, with no guarantee that the bridge ahead is better than the one before us. Life asks a lot. Death does too. Perhaps knowing how to confront the two is how we can move forward.

    Written by
    Milomi

    Inspired by-
    “Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life.”
    Norwegian Wood- Haruki Murakami