It was tough to wedge the window open. It kept on resisting and Jane could see why. Maybe it was a sign. If it was, she ignored it. This had to happen.
She persisted and it finally gave in. A gush of wind hit her and she could hear her heart pounding loud. Was she thinking straight? In a way, she was just thinking of straight out of the window- but could she do that?
Jane climbed out on the ledge, shivering. She remembered her mother saying she should be brave. Her dad would call her darling, say she was a tiger true to heart. If she was brave then, she could be brave now. All it would take was a jump. And she’d be free.
Sweaty palms. Running thoughts. Blurry worlds. Nauseating and writhing and chafing. Slip and fall and plummet to-
Her phone rang. Her last phone call, she thought.
“Hello?”
“Hi honey, where are you?”
Jane thought this was her breaking point, but instead she laughed sharply. “I’m on the ledge, you know. Maybe this time I’ll fly.”
She shook her head, the tears were always going to come.
“Jane, no. No. You’re not doing this.”
There was silence and sobbing on the other end of the line.
“Jane, listen to me. You still there? Can you go back inside your office? Just a few steps. Come on, you can do this.”
She sniffled and hesitated.
After ten minutes, she’d reached her window again.
“Sit down somewhere, close your eyes, Jane. Take ten deep breaths for me. I’m doing it too.”
Jane blinked away her tears and fought her urge to go back to the ledge. But she did what Mike told her. Ten deep breaths. She could do this.
“You’re doing amazing, Jane, you know? Okay now, open your eyes and look around. What can you see, or smell, or feel?”
“There’s a lot of buildings here, many other offices. I think there’s someone walking their dog in the compound… Pity there’s no one dancing right now.
I can smell waffles from breakfast and also snow. I can feel some of the sun. And it’s pretty breezy. I’m crying too.”
Jane blinked for a couple more moments, before Mike spoke again.
“Now tell me what the sky looks like.”
“Well there are a few clouds, but the rest is a nice blue…”
“Oh yeah? That’s nice. Send me some of that sunshine, it’s been raining here.”
Jane smiled, “Of course.” There was a pause.
“You see the world out there, Jane?” She softened, he went on. “The smell of the wind and the feel of the sun and the breeze on your face. There’s a whole big world out there, and it changes everyday.
Sometimes life is heavy, honey, but there’s so many beautiful things out there. Like waffles and cream for breakfast or walking your dog.”
Jane chuckled and nodded as Mike kept speaking.
“Life is more than your job sometimes. It’s the smell of snow and the feel of the sun and the sight of someone dancing with no care in the world. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, just look up at that sky and see if it’s changing. Because what you’re feeling will change as surely as that sky has.
I promise you.”
Two people, miles apart, connected by a phone line, took a deep breath.
“Thank you, Mike.” There was a lot she wanted to say, but her tears gulped that down.
“Anytime, sweetie. Love you, and I’m always here.”
Jane nodded, “I know.”
Written by
Milomi.
(Adapted from a conversation.)
Milomi's world 