Milomi's world

Will we ever look back

And regret life

And cry at the past

Or will we be forgotten

Will love be a fable

Told excitingly around a fire

Will we be remembered

Will someone tell our story?

Will we pass life

As merely a spectator

And not be big enough

To be the asteroid that creates an impact

Will we find something new

To go after and chase

To narrate to our children

Once today is over

Will there be anything left to say

And do

And try

And be

Once we run out of ideas

Will creation be eternal?

Or will we run out of material

To rave about

And build

Will we fall

Or will we act as ghosts of mankind

Will we cross that boundary

That separates dreams and reality

And be the asteroid ourselves.

Written by

Milomi.

This is about a woman who shouts at her life, who took her son and left her back. She doesn’t know what to look forward to, for she has no reason to wake up in the morning. Her tears enrich the garden, yet her pain is everlasting.

HOARSE

Everything looked normal
The road was just as busy
The buses were just as crowded
The buildings were still standing
But I had fallen.

Everything around me was unreal
It was as if I was living my own life
And the catastrophes that hurt me
Didn’t hurt anyone else
And nobody cared about the person I cared for the most.

I was awake every day
To make something
To do something
To see my son smile
But what is left of life
Once all of its essence is sucked out
By a passing life?

What does the world want of me
Once a half of my self
Has been buried
And can never be revived.

Why is cruelty
Constantly shoving me
Under boulders of pain
And expecting me to get up
Without bruises.

My tears are not wet enough
My shouts can be louder
I can scream till I’m hoarse
And till water cannot quench me
Or the lies I tell myself
So I can sleep.

The ship I’ve been sailing on
Has begun to sink
And I know I’m going to sink with it
For my son is the anchor
That pulls me down
And he was but my life
But he is gone.

I cannot find anything to hold onto
Everything I see
Is sinking
Every incentive I had
To be alive
All my work
Is being blown away
Like how the rain destroys a candle.

My hope is a fire that I lit long ago
But it is being put out
My life, my all
Is a memory
And the present, which makes no sense
Is no more.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/6SNbWyFwuhk

Time is the fastest train, whom we can never catch. We’re always late to the platform. Sometimes we are too early, and we end up forgetting about the train itself. We remember years as yesterday. Millions of moments as just a flash. We have never grasped time and gone where time takes us.

Time is the kind of person who will leave you behind without a second glance. Time knows what is happening, but we don’t. We are always stuck in the future, or in the past. Our minds are like theaters, who play the same movie over and over again.

We start off where we think time is, but we always lose track. Time drags us through a maze, full of obstacles and dangers. We surrender at times, and we are able to catch up. If we think about it too much, we get left behind. If we don’t heed time, we cannot keep up.

It’s scary how years can fly by and we must have lived for a few days. We must have acknowledged the few days. The rest of the days are probably us groaning about time, and struggling.

It’s almost like a marathon where time is always leading. Some of us are panting, some of us have started walking, some of us have flung ourselves on the ground and clutched stitches in our sides. In the end, we know that time will win, and we don’t feel like burning our legs and ending up in pools of sweat. We know the inevitable and we refuse to change it.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/Ai7sV3SSMIQ

I stretched my hand out
For I’ve been blinded
And I feel the veil
The veil that separates truth from lies

The veil won’t move
It starts to melt into my hands
It’s molten lava
And ice
At the same time

I might vanish
For the veil has power
And its power is leaking
Into the world

I can’t stop it
The end has always been inevitable
But I never knew
That we would die
Of a veil
That hid the rest of us
From one

I had always imagined us ending in another way
Maybe we would fall fighting
Or hang on in the hospital
Or never wake up

But we have done the fighting
Returned home
To find a veil
Through which everything seems blurry

We have hung on
And managed to pull ourselves up
We walked back, weary
To trip on a veil

We woke up
We yawned, our eyes watered, we staggered and stumbled
When we saw the veil

And the veil separated everyone

If we ever destroy that veil
We might meet success
Or destruction
It’s impossible to say
Since many of us don’t know that we look through
A veil.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/B6EOsmCLVSM

We go on trips and holidays, and gaze at the mountains and declare that nature is true beauty. We look at clothes in shops and malls, and declare that the clothes are beautiful. We look at movies, listen to songs, read pieces and we come to the same conclusion, that life is beautiful and filled with beauty.

We look at misshapen objects and frown or scoff upon them. We look at edges that don’t quite fit, at colours that don’t really match, at some layers of life that require some decoration or change or smoothening down.

We look at something that blinds you, that is too great, too much to take in at a time. We look at these objects that have no place in life, yet they are the objects that make up life.

These few things that are too bright, yet too dull. Too sharp, too blunt. These objects that are rough, and don’t hide truth under millions of blankets impossible to find, is what life lives for.

We look at these objects, and feel its ruthlessness and vigour and we turn away. We don’t embrace the beauty in life, we mistake them for something else.

If you were to see a vase pieced together after being broken, you wouldn’t look at it as having survived something. You wouldn’t spare it another glance. And that is what we do for the better part of our lives.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/y5dUcQXzJ40

I am bound to this earth
I am tied up with chains
And thrown into a cave
Expected to not scream
Expected to calm down

I am beaten
And I have broken
And I must mend
While I’m imprisoned
Since the worst is yet to come

It is dark around me
And everything is unclear
No light dares to see me
No weather greets me
No feelings absorb me

I am left, trying to figure out
Where the sun went
Where the moon vanished
Why I was abandoned by days
Why time kept on running
But never told me where it was
Leaving me behind to catch up

It is almost cruel
Of the world
To erase my mind
To leave me not knowing
Anything

I am chafing against these chains
Struggling
Losing my voice
Losing myself
Watching myself fall into an abyss
No longer holding on to sanity

I was tame
Before I was shackled
But now I’m wild
The beast inside of me
Has enveloped my world
Has become me

And that beast
Is now
Everything.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/X4Beud2UQCQ

We love to differentiate the usual from the unusual. We love stability and something we can hold on to. We love knowing that everything we do is usual, and that there is nothing wrong with the way we operate.

It feels nice to tell someone that they shouldn’t be worried about the grey clouds. That just meant it was going to rain. That it is nothing out of the usual, rains come and go.

However, if we see grey clouds in the sky that part to present a rainbow, that is unusual. Rainbows aren’t common and appear once in a blue moon. But here comes a rainbow, and that is unusual.

We divide the usual from the unusual without a second thought. We don’t see that we are limiting ourselves. We don’t see that we are forcing ourselves to stop imagining. We don’t see that we unconsciously stop dreaming of things that are ‘unusual’.

Later, we are told to dream. We are told to look beyond and do something that has never been done before. And we stop thinking.

We stop thinking of the ‘unusual’.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/m4qXRqi-EZI

If I could wake up before the sun did
And gaze at the dark sky
I would wake up every morning
To mock the late sun
Like he does

If I could look at the sun setting
And not feel myself sinking
I would spend every dusk
Staring out over the ocean
To see a star fade

If I could spend the whole night
Staring at the stars without falling asleep
I wouldn’t blink an eye at the cosmos
And allow myself to be lost
Till they all twinkle out

If I could sit on the window sill
And just look out at the roads
Without losing focus
I would stay there
And never leave

If I could go out and lie down
With my hands spread out
And my head lacking worries
I would lie there
Till someone picks me up

If I could look at the world being created
And manage to not die of awe
I would watch it a million times
And be as surprised each time
Never running out of popcorn.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/xP_AGmeEa6s

Sometimes time is still
And nothing else matters
While we freeze
To admire life
To think again

There is always this gap
That we sometimes find
A gap between
What we see and what is true
Sometimes the gap is covered up
Sometimes it is left unseen

That gap is where we can stand still
And not worry
Since we don’t remember who we are
Or where we are
Or why we are

We simply look at the gap
At the world around
And forget about the world inside

Some of us find every gap
Every moment to still time
To still life

While some of us ignore the gaps
And do not imagine
Life as what it is through a gap

For when seen through the gap
The world can be laid out in all hues
But when seen without one
The world is laid out in black and white

The world is laid out in good and bad
In right and wrong
In zero and one

But when seen through the gap
Suddenly nothing matters
The vast universe seems to overwhelm a person
And one does not differentiate into yes and no
But learns to absorb

And while a gap is said to be good
Too many gaps are frowned upon
And should be hidden

Sometimes everything is still
And nothing moves
And in that moment
The most happens.

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/qvkkLjSjG7E

How is it possible
To go chase your dreams
Across the world
When one has dreams
That are too big to wrap one’s arms around
And too quick to stop and achieve

How is it possible
To see the sun
When it is blanketed
By the thickest of clouds

How is it possible
To enjoy a day
When a day is
Dampening life
And stopping you

How is it possible
To smile
When the smallest of things
Can drag you down

How is it possible
To stand up again
Once you’ve seen the worse
And you’ve seen the easy path
That you can take

How is it possible
To forget that life is the horizon
And each step towards it
Is merely an illusion?

Written by
Milomi.

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/ZyQVK4tG4tY

recent posts

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Will we? – poem

Hoarse – poem

Time

Veils – poem

Beauty

Shackles – poem

The Usual

Suns set – poem

A Gap – poem

Horizon – poem